Dear Leda,
I start a new job either the end of April or middle of May (people other than me are making that choice) After 30+ years doing essentially the same thing – now changing from more subservient role to provider.
How do I deal with the fear of not knowing what to do; actually in an area I’ve never worked in. Basically – dealing with fear of change, even when it’s something I actively went out and looked for… and should be a really good thing. I hope. ~ KJ
Dear KJ,
Your question can be approached from several different angles because there are many layers to it. Some thought work might be useful for the fear of not knowing what to do. But for this space, let’s look at your fear of change.
Let’s compare it to jumping from a diving board into a pool.
Does it feel like you’re jumping into a beautiful clean pool?
Or does it feel like you’re jumping into a pool of contaminated, dirty water?
Jumping into the first pool might be a bit scary, but it’s not repulsive. It’s anxious excitement, which comes naturally with any big change. Think back to when you first started the old job, were you afraid then? Did that fear subside after you got oriented to the place? If this is the fear you’re experiencing, it’s just normal new job jitters.
Jumping into the second pool is repulsive! How do you feel up on the diving board looking down at that yucky water? Do you want to turn around and go back? Is your entire body screaming NO? If this is the fear you’re experiencing, then this is not the right move for you.
Try this. Imagine you’re at your new job. Be there in your mind’s eye. Use all your senses. Who’s there, how does it smell? What sounds are there? Do you feel that fear? Where in your body is it? Any constrictions? Butterflies? Is it in your chest, your solar plexus, or your belly? What does it look like? Any shape or color? Sit with that fear for a few minutes, get to know it, let it grow even, let it expand.
Can you allow it to be there? Can you come closer to it? Greet it – hello there! Even embrace that fearful side of you and say, I know it’s scary, but it will be OK. We will deal with it one step at a time.
If you don’t resist the fear, accept it as something a part of you is experiencing, allow it and comfort it, it will subside.
Finally. Does this new job taste like freedom to you? If it does, take that leap of faith.
Don’t hesitate to call me to follow through.
Much love,
Leda