Do you remember the innocent you? .
- The child who was born happy, carefree.
- The little girl who had not learned all kinds of man-made rules yet, not learned how to shut herself off, how to stifle her voice not to make waves.
- The free spirit who dared to want, play, love, believe.
I remember the dress. Her mother had made it for her; it was beautiful in pink and white and she felt pretty in it. I don’t remember what the occasion was and I don’t remember if she was happy or was asked to smile for the photographer. The picture is blurry and faded just like my memory, but I recognize her eyes, her big smile, her vibrant spirit.
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For a long time I had forgotten her. She had disappeared. I’m sure she was calling my name from somewhere deep inside but I was too busy and somewhat deaf. I was busy loving my sons with everything I had; busy losing my identity to the role I was playing in life; busy getting hurt, developing a huge “pain body” inside created by feelings of un-fulfillment, neglect, abandonment, even nonexistence. I felt numb. I died. Then things shifted, everything aligned in the universe to bring me back to consciousness, slowly, gradually, painfully.
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One morning I looked in the mirror and there she was staring at me with those big brown eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t say a word but her eyes asked, why did you leave me behind? I hugged her and we cried together, then we laughed together. I’ll never leave you again, I promised. I need your innocence, joy, faith and warmth with me always. She has never left me since.
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I meet her every morning in the mirror and we smile hello. Today, we sang songs, we doodled, we laughed at the silly birds who forgot to fly south, and we sent my sons funny texts with smiley faces. Tomorrow, well it hasn’t happened yet but we might dance.
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That’s the story of how I found the free spirited innocent child in me.
How about you? .
Do you miss her? .
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1. Find old photographs, faded or not.
2. Frame them, put them on a poster board, put them anywhere you can see them easily.
3. Look in your mirror, find her in your eyes, in your smile.
4. Talk to her
5. Listen to her.
6. Bring her back home.
And please share your story with me.
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